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Bodyhammer
20 most recent entries

Date:2016-07-06 04:12
Subject:Bitter
Security:Public

So, I'm back here. I've decided to use this dead social media site to vent frustrations I can not publicly display on Facebook. I'm not trying to feed the drama machine that site attracts.

Anyway, it appears that my mother's car caught fire 100 miles from home whilst her and her boyfriend were visiting his sister. An unfortunate event. I'm glad they're alright. I've no animosity towards them.

What bothers me is that they didn't find it necessary to call me and let me know it happened. The only reason I know it happened was that he left a very angry message on Facebook saying that her family is a piece of shit and then calling them all out.

Really? Days prior I gave them the last 20 dollars I had in my pocket so they'd have gas money so they could make it to an appointment. I did so only moments before leaving for work. They were suppose to pay me back on Friday when their checks cleared. Did I blow up their phones? No. I know shit happens. Somehow I'm a piece of shit.

As I type this they've still not tried to contact me. I see where I stand in the grand scheme of things.

Just sit back power hit a joint of shitty weed, pound a few beers and get on with your lives. I've no idea why this bothers me so much. I've always felt like I was constantly put on the back burner while she's with some guy. Maybe because we were finally getting along for the first time in 20 years. Maybe because it was said on social media kinda vague without consulting me.

Whatever the case, I'm over it.

Fucking hell.

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Date:2011-05-06 23:18
Subject:fuck a subject!
Security:Public

Why does it seem like everytime I turn around there's a new Nirvana greatest hits collection? Seriously? Do we really need another collection? I saw one recently that was just a 10 track version of the black cover collection. Can we say lame?? As a matter of fact I've seen the same thing done for other bands in the Seattle scene. It's retarded. Why release shorter versions of collections already readily available?

I never bought the black Nirvana best of cause I didn't like the final version of You Know Your Right. The lyrics to the demo, as heard on the box set, was so much better. It had a real chorus and felt more real. The chorus to the final version bored me to death. I need to acquire that box there's a lot of great stuff in it. I never bought it because its a lot of money to invest in a band whose albums always get stolen from me. Seriously, I've had nevermind 4 times. Everyone stolen. Unplugged has been stolen twice. I wore out my first copy of bleach and the second one disappeared. I think I still have in utero and incesticide, miraculously.

Anyway, I digress, why do we keep releasing these things? Alice in chains is guilty of this too. With AIC just get the essential set and that's all you need, unless you were like me and bought them as they were released. I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. When I'm looking to repurchase an album I don't want to have to sift through a buttload of retarded collections just to get to that one missed great album. Most of the time the best of is the only album they have. That Pisses me off even more! Grr!

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Date:2010-05-08 09:30
Subject:woot?
Security:Public
Mood: bored

forgive me, livejournal, for i have sinned. it's been 2 years since my last post...

well, it's been a long time. i've moved twice since the last time. i still live in findlay, oh. i have a girlfriend of a year and a half. that is, we've been together that long. she's not that young. lol. we're really happy together.

i spend most of my time with her or at work. i'm still producing music. both electronic and beating the piss out of my gibson les paul through a line 6 combo amp.

i've really nothing else to say. hope all of you are doing well.

oh, and hit me up on facebook if you have one. i update that thing more than this one.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000910133191&ref=profile

Joshua.

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Date:2008-05-28 19:19
Subject:Remember grunge?
Security:Public

i've always been a big fan of the Grunge era. lately, i've reacquired some of it. i've lost many albums over the years. i've had like 4 copies of 3 different Nirvana albums. apparently and unbeknownst to me, Nirvana is a band who's albums you have to steal. i know this because tyler knows this.

anyway, i downloaded a VHS>DVD rip of Motorvision. that's a video that was recorded during Soundgarden's tour in support of Badmotorfinger. i also got a couple other albums that i have misplaced. i had forgot how much i enjoyed this band. actually, when everyone else was rocking Nevermind i was crankin BMF Pearl Jam's Ten, and anything by Alice In Chains that i could get my hands on. later, i started listening to Nirvana. and so it began...

i was down with STP, as well. then i started digging deeper. Green River, Mudhoney, Tad, Temple Of The Dog and many others that escape me.

anyway, of all of the Seattle bands that i've heard Soundgarden has always been my favorite. it seemed like they were always pushing the limits and even though a lot of their material was hard for me to listen to, especially the earlier stuff, it was interesting. Cornell's really got a set of lungs. *nod.* i even enjoyed Audioslave, mostly. i mean, i couldn't get into all of it, but all in all i dug them. of course, being a long time RATM fan helped a lot. lol.

anyway, i've was a bit turned off on his solo album that was released last year. then, today, i heard a live clip of him doing Michael Jackson's Billie Jean acoustic. that's right, fucking Acoustic! it was very interesting. i never thought anyone would attempt that paticular song and it came out great.

somewhat inspires me. no, i'm not gonna take a hit 80s track and do an acoustic song out of it, but i need to either wipe my archive drive, or buy another so i have space to record my own songs that i have written, even though i'll most likely be the only one who enjoys them.

Joshua.

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Date:2007-10-18 21:19
Subject:...
Security:Public
Mood: depressed

it's been a long time, livejournal. hmm...i moved out of my dad's place, finally. i live with 2 very cool people. i now have 3 guitars, cause i rock. mhmm. i'm starting a band with a very cool friend. i drink too much.

i guess there's not much else i wish to dispell at the moment. nothing too exciting has really happened. of course, i can't really remember the last couple weeks. for a while i was putting away a fifth of Crown Royal a night. kind of laying off of it for now. well, till tomorrow when i get paid and shit.

i've inherited a shitstorm of Buckethead. i can't believe i've waited this long to listen to this shit. fucking incredible. the Monsters and Robots album even has Les fucking Claypool!! mhmm. check it out, niggers.

Joshua.

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Date:2007-05-01 21:29
Subject:argh...
Security:Public

hmm. so, what's new, Josh? glad you asked. work sucks, as usual. too many fucking idiots to put up with in an 8 hour day. i've had a cell fone for a while. i finally gave in to the gods of consumerism. Year Zero rocks my cock. i've not heard anything this good out of Trent in for-fucking-ever. i got this guitar in prestine fucking condition for a hundred dollars. a friend was in a tight spot and needed cash.

my hard drive crashed, recently and took my current BI project with it. i've decided to put that project on the back burner, for a while. nobody liked it, anyway. i did, but no one else seemed to give a shit. i'll return to it at a later point in time. in the mean time, i'm gonna start a metal project. i've already recorded a 60 second sample in a very low jack way of recording. i just need to figure out how to get this program to work for recording purposes. then it's all ago. of course, i'll need to figure out how to do the drums. i suck at the drums. the few times that i've sat behind a kit i couldn't even keep time and it, ultimately, pissed me off.

Joshua.

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Date:2007-04-13 09:44
Subject:deathklock
Security:Public

a guy at work hooked me up with the entire first season of Metalocalypse. this shit fucking rocks. you should check it out.

also, i've been getting pretty lucky with the recycle bin at my local record store. i've found these gems, recently...
-Pigface - Notes Thee Underground (not the re-release)
-Pigface - Easy Listening...
-Meg Lee Chin - Piece And Love (Promo)
-Seether - Disclaimer (out of print version)

i've also acquired NIN - Beside You In Time. i'm thinking about picking up the reissue of Pigface - Gub since it packages it with Welcome To Mexico, Asshole! i'm pretty sure it's gub, anyway. it'd be pretty sweet to get both cds for 15 dollars. if i don't get lucky and find it in the recycle bin. heh. oh, and Easy Listening was used, which made it cheaper since all used cds there are one dollar off, was still in the shrinkwrap. so, i got a brand new cd for 8 dollars. fucking rock!

Joshua.

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Date:2007-03-30 16:11
Subject:damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.
Security:Public

zip-ties make good hair-ties. that is all.

Joshua.

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Date:2007-02-21 16:20
Subject:forgive me, father, for i do not understand.
Security:Public

i found a website that had all of Tim Skold's solo work for download. it's been quite a while since i've listened to this. good stuff. i don't remember hearing Hail Mary or Devil Inside, before. some of these tracks really inspire me to continue with the bastard insomnia project, a little more. i quit for a while because i got tired of just using software instruments and without the proper hardware it's gonna sound like shit feeding guitars through whichever software recording and mixing programs i can find. i have written a few songs on bass and guitar within the past few months. i really should pick up some effects pedals and a better amp. i keep neglecting to do so, while purchasing movies and more music.

me on stage with Stryck-9 last saturday. that was a fun show. i, also, ran sound for them that night. the crown + cokes went down like water, like they usually do.

wee. i can't think anymore.

Joshua.

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Date:2007-02-19 22:59
Subject:
Security:Public

another track from Year Zero has been leaked. that's the third in a week. is Trent going to release the whole album track by track via flashdrives all over europe? it seems this album is going to kick With Teeth's dick in the dirt. don't get me wrong, With Teeth was a good album, but these songs own. i didn't like survivalism as much as the other two (My Violent Heart and Me, I'm Not respectively). Survivalism is still a damn good tune, however.

i'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that there are 4 NIN releases in 3 years time. it's a total mindfuck.

Joshua.

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Date:2007-02-09 22:11
Subject:dry your eyes and smile. tomorrow is a better day.
Security:Public
Mood: bored

how's everything in livejournal-land? i'm just dandy. i just spent the past couple hours working on a image for a stryck-9 t-shirt. i think i finally have it perfect. i've been stuck on their album all week.

work today was pretty uneventful for a friday. they sent everyone home at 10.30 am. there was all of maybe ten of us left. everyone i didn't care to see was part the sent home crew too. fuckin' rock!

someone entertain me?

Joshua.

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Date:2007-01-31 22:12
Subject:
Security:Public

happy birthday, exquisitered!!

Joshua.

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Date:2006-12-26 19:43
Subject:there is no spoon.
Security:Public

I am the One.

sorry, i've been playing Path Of Neo like a motherfucker. hope everyone had a good x-mas. mine was alright. spent time with the father and then got drunk with a couple friends. dad gave me 100 dollars of which will come to some good use, i spose'n.

i found the Psychostick cd in fye, the other day. i was stoked, of course. i also bought Matrix: Path Of Neo. the game could have been better, but at least it kicks the shit out of Enter The Matrix. i wish i still had a copy of the first matrix film. i've not seen it in ages.

i acquired disc one of the Closure dvd. it was worth the 2 days it took to download, and yes it's official. about an hour's worth of additional footage. there's no damn seeders for disc 2, though. bastards. i need to try to re-acquire the vhs tapes. mine got confiscated by the biznitch. fuckin' hoes.

yeah. yeah. i'm out of shit to type about.

Joshua.

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Date:2006-11-27 18:08
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: calm

dear livejournal,

it's been a while and i'm not sorry for not writting sooner. i've been quite busy, and then again not so busy. you figure it out, i can't be bothered.

i've been spend a good ammount of time hanging out with the guys from Stryck-9. those guys can party and are very cool people. i never miss a show and always get in free. i may have sold another copy of their cd today, as well. maybe those guys at work aren't as broke as i previously thought. no one ever spells their name right. i don't know why, but every place they play forgets the c. the lyrics are depressing and the music reflects that. they can rock Stone The Crow by Down like none other, as well.

other that that, lots of ATHF and South Park. i recently picked up Green Street Hooligans. it's a decent flick. bought it on a whim. i'm not a huge fan of that Frodo mo'fo', but he did a good job in this movie. i'd review, but i don't feel like it. look it up on IMDB, or something.

everyone should watch Clerks II, as well.

just one pull away.
to kill the pain.
not this dream, again.
i never win.


Joshua.

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Date:2006-10-12 21:58
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: excited

Aphex Twin makes me wet in the pants.

that is all.

Joshua.

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Date:2006-10-08 23:23
Subject:why?
Security:Public
Mood: crushed

saturday night i decided to get drunk with adam. i drank the better part of a fifth of southern comfort. i remember most of the night. needless to say i added some character to the lawn. i remember falling asleep on the floor in the second livingroom deal. then, waking up still trashed in the chair.

later cody woke me up and made me eat something. then i started throwing up like no one has vomitted before. the throes of drinking your weight and then some. that was the worst feeling i've ever felt. i just wanted to plunge a bullet through my head.

i guess the point of all this is that i'm glad cody and adam have enough respect to baby me while i'm regretting drinking so much. they're probably the 2 best people in my life right now. true, cody can get pretty annoying quite often, but he's still a really great person. Adam is my fucking brother. yup.

Joshua.

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Date:2006-09-28 18:55
Subject:choking chicks and sodomy...
Security:Public

what's up fuckers? i had some computer problems, but i'm back.

been working and playing loads of videogames. as soon as i acquire my bass i'll most likely be playing in a metal band. we'll see how that goes.

i beat halo 2 3 times, recently. halo 3 better be awesome. the ending to 2 sucked ass.

i've been in the buisiness of purchasing cds. i got another copy of La Sexorcisto Devil Music Vol. 1. great album. i also re-bought Down - Nola. the new Black Label Society cd is pretty good. new Mushroomhead is...different but good. i found the only Two album i know of, as well. good stuff.

oh, and i also acquired the Iron Maiden music video collection. woo! hehe.

i'm such a fuck.

Joshua.

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Date:2006-06-08 16:06
Subject:
Security:Public

aparently, Trent Reznor and Peter Murphy did a backstage show together yesterday and it was broadcast on 99x. me being the nin fan and internet mp3 browser found a rip of it. there's an interesting version of Head Like A Hole included.

the broadcast is only fifteen minutes long. if anyone wants it let me know. i'd like to hear a series of these, but i really don't see it happening again. if it does happen, i really don't expect them to materialize unless it's in Trent's or Peter's dumpster.

Edit:
the tracklist for aforemention jam session? is as follows:
1.head like a hole
2.insanity assassin
3.hurt

i recently acquired Rusty Nails 1 & 2. i've been in this huge Reznor mood, lately.
/Edit


Joshua.

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Date:2006-06-02 19:22
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: content

been working and playing videogames, lately. started playing Final Fantasy 7, again. oh, how i love that game.

today went by very quickly. my boss finally got off her ass and decided to train someone else in my area. so, if i need to i can take a day off and not have to worry about how i can finish my orders. the guy that started over there is slow, but i'm sure he'll be up to my speed in no time. i forgot my ipod, twice this week. those were the 2 slowest days of the week. the people in the area next to me feel the need to listen to country all fucking day. luckily, Em went in the back and borrowed Mike's radio. so, we hadn't to listen to country. that shit blows.

after work i stopped at Wal*Mart to cash my check. i ended up finding 2 Clutch cds for $12.88. Robot Hive/Exodus and Blast Tyrant, respectively. i've been meaning to pick up a copy of RH/E for a few weeks now, but could never find it in a store. this is the first time i've heard BT, and i'm loving it. i've always loved Clutch, and RH/E has been on my iPod for months. i listen to that album everyday.

after that, i went to Best Buy. ended up picking up The Game, Soul Survivors, and Poolhall Junkies. the combined total was 25 dollars. not bad for 3 movies. i've never seen SS before. oh well, if i hate it i can't bitch was really fuggin' cheap.

i finally found one of my Marilyn Manson t-shirts. it was missing for over a year. it's the one with the cover of The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell on the front. for some reason, that's my favorite MM image, ever. *shrugs.* i wonder if he's working on anything? if not, Skold should go back to KMFDM, their last album was teh suck.

Joshua.

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Date:2006-05-01 18:47
Subject:
Security:Public

whilst writting lyrics i decided to program a beat and a simple synth for inspiration. what happened, instead was a full fledged song. 6 minutes in length and i still don't know how to end the damn thing. this will definately go under the name Shadowized V. 2.06 a project that i've only just begun. it's very different from what i've produced in the past. i'm stoked. yet...not.

i'm currently obsessed with this line..."i hope your embryo devours your uterus." it's so deliciously vulgar. that's all i have to say about that.

Complications Of The Flesh is sexy.

i want to tear it all down and rebuild it again. i'm just unsure i can endure another war. my darkside always wins. still, i lust for more. ... unconcerned, unemotional, unfeeling, uninterested, unmoved, unresponsive, untouched.. the lust draws me to a line that's accurately clear, but i'm still unsure if i want to cross, but the lust remains. i beckon abhorrence. sit back. light a cigarette and watch the bombs fall. after all, we're all human and treasure torment. it's in our blood. it's...what we breathe.

yeah. the end is my favorite part. after the dominos have all fallen and everything becomes clear we realize what we really are...

Joshua.

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